Grandma's House & Jeremy's Birthday. :)

Jeremy left for Puerto Rico for two weeks right after Governor's Day, so we headed down to Hurricane. I am so grateful for family who supports us and helps us when we need it! It was nice to be down South for awhile, but I was really missing Jeremy...over the past four months we really hadn't seen him. Literally. I'm not just saying that. He started AT (annual training) 10 days after Beckham was born, then started a military training a day after he got home from AT that went 6 days a week, 12 hours a day for about 3 months. Then, the last two weeks he couldn't come home at all, so we spent another two weeks down in Hurricane, came back for a week when he graduated, then he left for Puerto Rico for two weeks like I said above.

So.

I'm pretty much done being away from home.

I must say, though, that I have a newfound respect for single parents. It is hard to parent by yourself. I was so drained all the time, Bridger was having a hard time adjusting to having a brother so he was really acting up, and I was still trying to learn how to take care of two kids...sometimes I just ended up sitting on the floor bawling because I was just so burnt out. It didn't matter how much advice I got because I didn't have the energy to use it! I could have stayed with my parents the whole time, but I really felt like I needed to be here for Jeremy. The training was really intense and I wanted to be here to support him and to just...be here for him, even though staying was actually harder for me. My mom came up quite a few times to help me get my house under control which I really appreciated

It is really amazing how much more energy two kids instead of one takes. By the time the kids are in bed and asleep I am exhausted and just want to go to bed! Which is really weird for me because I am (or was) more of a night owl, I love the time me and Jeremy get to spend with just each other in the evenings, but lately I'm so tired I can hardly stay awake. I have sort of a hard time with change. It took us like 6 or 7 months to adjust to having Bridger after he was born, maybe it will be the same way this time? I'm not sure.

It's pretty crazy how two tiny people who wear you out so much can fill up so much of your heart. No matter how much Bridger tries my patience, and no matter how much energy it takes to carry Beckham around all day, I love them more every day. How does that work??? ha ha. I have no idea, but I love them forever.

One last thought. Having another baby changed my whole practice of parenting, mostly because Bridger's behavior changed so much since Beckham was born and since then I just am not the same mom. I miss the mom that I was, I want to be that mom again and I get really sad about it. I get impatient with Bridger now, whereas before, I was like the epitome of patience. Ok, maybe not the epitome, but it feels like it now. Anyway, like I mentioned, he's had kind of a crazy year and I think having a baby and having his dad leave for awhile just made things harder and there was a point that I just didn't know how it was possible to be a good mom to two kids! So, I was in Relief Society in my parents ward a few weeks ago and one of the ladies I really admire was giving the lesson. It was really a simple thought, all she said was that she remembered how hard it was to have three tiny babies at home as a young mother, but that now she can see the things she learned that helps her parent them as older kids. She said it more emotionally than that (of course, it's relief society, right?) but I felt like it was said just for me. Just the fact that I'm not the only one who felt frustrated and tired and emotionally worn out sometimes. She did too, and she's one of those mom's that looks "all put together." There is hope!! Just kidding. It just helped me feel a little better. It helped me remember that these cute little kids grow SO fast.  

I'm surprised I even got these blog posts done tonight! I just patted myself on the back. This feels like quite the accomplishment, actually. This post turned into more of a journal entry than a "Grandma's House & Jeremy's Birthday" post, but...

Jeremy turned 27. Holy Cow. When did we get so OLD?? We had a big party for Jeremy and Tajia together, and it was so fun. :) I love the Happy Birthday's our family sings...completely off tune and as loud as possible! It's my favorite. I got Jeremy three shirts and a BYU Football ticket to last weeks game with dad, they loved it.

It was so nice to be down South for awhile, even though I was missing home and Jeremy. I got to go walking with my sisters and my mom quite a few times, we took family pictures, went shopping with my mom, and Bridger got to play with his cousins who he LOVES. Especially Calum, he still talks about him, I wish we lived closer so they could play more! :)

Here are some pictures...

 He got a BYU ticket! Him and my dad went to the game together. :) They loved it!

 Every time I tell Bridger to smile he gives me the silliest faces, ha ha. He is such a cute little ham.

 See? Like I said...ha ha silly boy.

Kind of blurry, but he loves his Grandpa Brown!